Amor Fati: Fuel for Possibilities
Accepting what life brings and ‘meeting the moment’ with calm and purpose will help us ride the waves.
If conversations with my ‘coachees’ and others lately are any reflection, it seems like the whole world is suffering from ANXIETY ON STEROIDS these days. Whether prompted by the upcoming US election, hurricanes and other climate disasters, continuing conflicts throughout the world, rising costs of housing and other daily living needs, or other factors, our collective nervous system is on high alert. Then there’s the day-to-day personal anxieties related to workplace challenges, job searching, managing family dynamics, etc. It’s no wonder so many of us are wound up in a tight anxiety ball.
Anxiety is essentially worry about the future. We try to conquer those worries on a day to day basis by planning, projecting, forecasting, reading our astrological charts, and other ways to lasso the future to fit our expectations for it. Very often, the future has other ideas in store for us.
This is nothing new, of course. Cave people also suffered from anxiety. It’s a basic human instinct that protects us from threats. Attempts to manage anxiety are also nothing new. I imagine cave people found some solace in deep belly breathing, making images of what they are grateful for on their cave walls, maybe finding some mind-numbing weed to chew on.
I’ve been listening to a series of Youtube episodes by a Dutch philosophy enthusiast who calls himself Einzelganger. He is heavily influenced by the Greek stoics, 3rd century philosophers and statesmen (even a few women, as I understand it) who developed simple-yet-profound ideas for leading a more fulfilled life. Many of these address anxiety head-on. The idea I’ve been chewing on this week is ‘Amor Fati,’ which literally translates as “love of one’s fate.”
It seems simple, but it’s a rather radical concept. In essence, it invites us to not just accept, but embrace, what life brings our way, even when that is a tremendous challenge. It reminds us that life is change, that without change we wouldn’t exist, and that change is the key ingredient of development. It’s an all-or-nothing idea: if the good things that come your way are the result of thousands of little factors leading to this occurrence, the same can and must be said about the challenging things that happen. While it’s tempting to conclude that Amor Fati suggests we all have a certain destiny, that’s not it either. Nothing is pre-ordained. And yet …. everything that has come before leads to this particular moment being inevitable.
It’s what proceeds from this moment that matters. Actual events may not be in our control. Think any of the natural disasters that have hit recently (despite what Marjorie Taylor Greene declares about Hurricane Helene being caused by Democrats). But our attitude toward these events is something we can control and harness for our own good.
I challenge you to think over the past week. Put yourself back to the beginning of the week, what you had in your agenda, in your expectations. Compare that to what actually happened. What could you have predicted about that? What came as a total surprise? Is there anything you can learn from that that will help you plan your next week, in order to avoid surprises? Really? My bet is: no.
What you can control is how you feel and what you do about what happens to you. If you can view these events in the greater arc of your life narrative, you’ll likely gain more confidence that even negative events can lead to some good outcomes, that you learn from setbacks, that you get through things that you never thought you could. You have done so, after all. It doesn’t take long to do a quick inventory of challenges you’ve faced and overcome in your life.
You can use this attitude as fuel for possibilities. What can you do with the rubble you find after the fire? With the lessons learned from the disaster? With the righteous indignation you feel after another rejection?
You can make the decision that this occurrence will not be the one that well-and-truly crushes you. You can look at this moment as a particular point in the movie script of your life. You can step into the role of objective narrator: “When she woke up the next morning, she knew the problem hadn’t gone away, but she did know she wasn’t going to passively let it define her life and attitude. So she got up and did one thing she knew she had control over. She …… [fill in the blanks].”
Sounds simple. It may be radical in its simplicity. And … what’s the alternative, really? Better to have a sense of agency in the face of uncertain future than to debilitated by anxiety.
I’m going to try it this week, as a way of building up my tolerance for the inevitable jolts to come. Join me?
And speaking of joining me …
· I’ve still got a couple spots left at Sidecar Summit Portugal 2024. Come join me and other adventurous women leaders to discuss The Pursuit of Happiness in schools and leadership. Perfectly timed to decompress after the US election and its aftermath. Final day to register is October 25.
· I’m hosting a special Sidecar Salon on Sunday, November 10 for anyone who wants to join me in an attempt to Meet the Moment post US election. 2 pm CEST/ 9 pm Beijing time/ 8 am EST. My Zoom Room. Not yet clear on how this will be structured, though will a) be non-partisan, and b) include inspiration from poetry, philosophy and the collective wisdom of those participating in the Salon. Watch this space for details on how to register.
· I’m planning future Summits in adventurous locations: an oasis in Egypt in February and Asheville, North Carolina in early May. Watch this space for details on how to join me and other daring leaders in person!
· I’m always here to join you in your sidecar as you continue to navigate the muddy patches and straightaways of your adventurous path. Reach out! I’m a Zoom call away. With (metaphorical) snacks.
Yours in joining me in embracing amor fati,
Bridget
