Wonder as a Way Forward
When feeling lost or disoriented, renew your sense of wonder.
I’m wending my way back into the day-to-day after a month of roaming in the realm of grief/ reminiscence/ gratitude/ practical tasks following the recent death of my mother and prepping my childhood home for sale.
What a strange new world I find myself in! Significant landmarks that helped define my sense of self, from whence I come, are no longer there. My internal GPS is still calibrating what this means. Meanwhile, the terrain around me, largely defined by where adventures with my coaching clients take me, is appearing blurry and rugged. What was feeling like genuine progress towards a more inclusive and appreciative leadership landscape for women (and others who are not cis-gendered-white-male) now feels more mirage-like.
So – what does an adventurer do when GPS tools go missing and the path ahead is looking fuzzy?
It starts with re-gaining a sense of wonder.
In going through mementos of my childhood, I’m reminded what a ‘wonder-er’ I’ve always been. I was one of those kids who had imaginary friends, whose quirky personas were projections of my wondering mind. (I also had an imaginary cat, who was so vivid in my imagination that he ‘died’ when my babysitter sat on him.) My early attempts at expressive writing, still on display all these years later on the wall in our family room, demonstrate a propensity for wild wonderings. These included a wish to “see God” (I think this reveals a suspicion that my Catholic grade-school depiction of God, an old man with a flowing white beard, was potentially not accurate), a yearning for a world where “no one ever died,” and a fervent desire that “angels were girls” (I’m guessing this came from Biblical stories that depicted angels as masculine, which somehow didn’t square with my perception of them, based on their traits. One might see this as an early indicator of my passion around women’s rights).
A brief journey through old journals (gosh, I was a prolific writer-of-journals! Much to my chagrin now as I wonder what to do with all those notebooks) revealed how I wondered things into existence. Could I raise enough money to go on that coveted student exchange program to Japan, I wondered? Would my mad crush be my prom date, I wondered? Could a hick from Montana be accepted to Harvard, I wondered? Would a school in Indonesia that attracted top-notch educators hire an inexperienced teacher, I wondered? Dare I give up a solid, well-paying job in the corporate sector to explore ways I could help social change agents make a difference in the world, I wondered? Was I crazy enough to start my own coaching practice for adventurous women leaders, I wondered? Somehow, these wonders became dares became visions became actions became realities.
Wonder has proven to be potent fuel for me. It’s gotten me places that self-limiting beliefs would have kept me from, and given me the courage to leave situations that inhibited my flourishing. So I plan to renew my sense of wonder over these coming weeks as I traverse this now-unfamiliar landscape. After all, as a lifelong adventurer I’ve been drawn to such landscapes; indeed, I’ve pursued them.
Here's a wonder protocol I’ve come up with for myself:
· What’s feeling alive in me right now? Could be a desire, a frustration, a sadness, an excitement, a fantasy, an envy, a confusion.
· What might have triggered that aliveness? An event? A dawning realization? A comment or action from someone? A fleeting glimpse of something out-of-the-ordinary? A sense that something is amiss?
· What is that aliveness telling me? Could be that I’m simply curious about something. Could be that I’m yearning for something different, something more. Could be that I want to push beyond my (often self-imposed) boundaries. Could be that my values have been tested.
· What can I do to explore this aliveness further? Learn more? Journal to explore my feelings and ideas? Take a small action step, especially one that feels daring? Talk with a trusted friend, coach, or therapist to help me reflect and encourage me to act?
My wonderings will take place while looking out the window at my favorite tree, while wandering in the wonders of nature, while trying new things that challenge my perspectives and self-imposed limitations, and while in the company of people who help nurture my sense of wonder.
Meanwhile, I’m focusing on the many manifestations of wonder in my Sidecar travels, as I believe it is a vital component of successful educational leadership. It’s the theme of this season of Sidecar Rally and of Sidecar Summit Spain 2025. And it comes at an apt time, when global uncertainty has reached a fever pitch. My premise is that nurturing a healthy sense of wonder – in ourselves, our leadership teams, and our school communities -- can serve as potent fuel to take on the unstable, unknowable, sometimes downright frightening new terrain in which we find ourselves.
I’m here in my sidecar to help you regain your sense of wonder, explore how it can sustain you and where it might take you. Reach out!
Also, I still have plenty of spots left for Sidecar Summit Spain 2025. If you haven’t already actively wondered about participating in that, I encourage you to do so soon. Early bird registration is March 1. I anticipated that this one would fill quickly, given its location, timing and theme. Wondering what explains the slow uptake. Thoughts to share about that? I’m all ears!
Yours in fueling up on wonder,
Bridget
